The last few weekends have been CA free, which has meant that I’ve been able to go out without feeling guilty. Over the long weekend I went to the Edwards compound in the mountains for plex’s birthday. It was nice to get away from the city following my exam and also spend time with friends I haven’t hung out with for a while. We checked out the Three Sisters on Sunday and also had awesome pies. I felt like the whole weekend was about eating. I’m not sure how I managed to fit so much food in, but damn I need to start dieting! On the Sunday night it was just three of us so we decided to attempt Rock Band 2′s “Endless Setlist” challenge. This is all 84 songs in a row… no breaks. We were probably a little insane to even try, but did manage to get through 56 songs before we collapsed out of sheer exhaustion. Considering we hardly got any sleep the night before, I think this was a good effort. We have booked in another weekend for us to try and get through all 84 songs – I’m looking forward to being able to say that I completed the challenge (: I’m glad I spent the weekend with friends, catching up and chilling out. We get few opportunities to do that these days and I know I will look back on these times fondly.
Archive for June, 2010
Keep me company
I’ve been in a contemplative mood the last few days. This always happens when my parents go away and I don’t keep myself busy. It means I have time to sit down, reflect on where I’m at and whether I’m truly happy. If I’m completely honest – I’m not unhappy. But that doesn’t really mean that I am happy either does it? If I contemplate the trifecta (work, home, love) I’m actually in a good place. I am mostly able to manage my parents’ ridiculous ideas of being a good daughter, I have a decent job (despite my complaints below) and there is someone special in my life. So why am I not bursting with joy?
Perhaps because I’m looking back at my resolutions for the year and wondering if I’m even close to achieving them.
I definitely have not achieved work/life balance. Although, my recent decision to quit working in two divisions and just focus on one should help with this. At least for the foreseeable future, it is unlikely the work pace will slow down. I realise now though, that work has been making me very unhappy for the last few months. Running on 4-5 hours sleep every night is unhealthy and tired to sustain.I talked to a few close friends about it and most agree that this was a good decision. I hope it pays off.
I have also realised that I have an inability to say “no”. If I really look at myself, that’s probably true in all aspects of my life. I’m not really capable of saying “no” to people. I truly dislike disappointing people. The problem is that, in trying to please everyone – mostly I end up pleasing no one. And I always get in trouble then, for over-promising and under-delivering. I struggle with being an overachiever and a perfectionist. And I’m not really sure how to fix that.
I’ve also been feeling a bit lonely lately. This seems completely nonsensical – I’ve had people over almost every night, but it doesn’t distract from the big empty house. The knowing that sometimes, you really are by yourself and the battles must be fought alone.
