wafblog v3.0

So, I’m feeling really… ‘under the gun’ at the moment (thanks for that phrase Chez).

Lots of things happening at once, but there seems to be this resounding feeling that work’s taken over my life. All aspects of work. From the actual work to the social to my outlook on life. I’m not entirely sure that it’s a bad thing – but I’m fairly content with life…. so why do I feel guilty? Sometimes I feel like people have these expectations of me, but I don’t know about them. So I don’t meet those expectations and then I get in trouble. Or they’ll suddenly be like “why didn’t you do this?” and I’m sitting there thinking… “you didn’t tell me you wanted me to do that!”.

I am however, enjoying work. It’s been very busy lately, and there’s still an overwhelming feeling that I don’t know what I’m doing. I am however, starting to get the hang of things. I like that I’m constantly having to think and find different ways to do things. We’ll see if it’s the same when I move to the audit side of things.

Bought a PS2 recently… am looking to mod/chip it. Most likely will be soft modding it – less chance of bricking the console. I can’t believe how tiny the Ps2 slimline console is… but I think I made a mistake in choosing the slimline. It sounds like it’s a lot harder to mod the slimline and there’s no room (or adapter) for a hard drive. I am tossing up re-selling the slimline on eBay and getting a fat one. Which I really should do before I mod either of them. Too many things I want to do. Not enough time.

I owe a few people e-mails – you should be getting them this weekend!!!!

And thanks to ‘Faith No More’ for the title from the song “Ashes to Ashes”. Yeay. Classic rock.

So, I haven’t blogged in forever. And I will update..

But really, just wanted to get some things off my chest. Suddenly had an influx of people needing help. Of varying sorts and varying degrees, but help nonetheless. Do these things come in cycles? Or deluges or something? I’m not sure. And it’s not like I mind – I’m more than happy to listen and provide support or whatever’s needed. I just haven’t had that happen for a while. Everything seems better now, and everything’s under control.

Had this really strange ‘down’ feeling today though. Not sure why, maybe compounding stuff?  Work is strange – some days are totally awesome and I’m gettin’ it and it’s all good. And then other days it’s like, falling apart everywhere and I feel like I know nothing. I think I like stability. Surprises usually don’t go my way. And I get that I’m still finding my way. But I feel so unbalanced right now. Not sure how to fix it – because I’m finding that I’m actually happy with things, mostly. And if I’m happy then I’m not sure I should change it. But I think it’s making some people in my life unhappy, and that’s not going to make me happy in the end.

I am absolutely loving this song “The Story” by 30 Seconds to Mars. Yes, the Jared Leto band. And yes, he does seem emo. But the album actually isn’t bad and there are some stand out songs (like this one!). I saw the video clip for “From Yesterday” and thought WTF, but I suppose that’s what they were going for.

I’ve been thinking of everything
I used to want to be
I’ve been thinking of everything
Of me, of you and me

This is the story of my life
These are the lies I have created

I’m in the middle of nothing
And it’s where I want to be
I’m at the bottom of everything
And I finally start to leave

This is the story of my life
These are the lies I have created
I created

And I swear to god
I’ve found myself
In the end

In the end

This is the story of my life
These are the lies I have created
30 Seconds to Mars – The Story

Hrm. Saw ‘Spider-man 3′ last week. I am still undecided on whether I liked it or not. I think that means not. Some parts were very well done, but overall I find it difficult to say that it was a good movie. I’m not sure I want to watch another either. I did like what they did with Venom, but obviously, they didn’t flesh him out enough. Shame – Spider-man 1 & 2 are the best adaptations of comic books, I think.