wafblog v3.0

I am feeling really down at the moment. I’m not really sure why. I should be happy or at least I shouldn’t be down. It’s just one of those moods where everything gets to you and you just want someone to come and say “it’ll be alright”. Of course, some people are just too thick to realise it’s that easy. Really, it’s just that everything seems to be bugging me at the moment. Must stop being angry all the time.

I was e-mailing Su yesterday, and she was talking about how she’s scared that when she comes back from Sing that everything will have changed and it’ll be all different. And I did the proper thing and told her that it doesn’t matter cos friends can survive time apart and the friendship can still be strong. Is it hypocritical if I fear the same thing? Because if you think back on your friendships, why is that some became stronger and others just… didn’t? Sometimes it’s the character of the other person and who you are and all that sort of thing. But still, where you are in life, being around, meeting and hanging out… they all have to factor in somewhere don’t they? So what if you come back to find that things have changed and it’s just not what you expect? If you’re me, you’ll likely just try and deal. Mostly by not dealing with it. It’s been pointed out to me that this is a fairly unhealthy thing to do and I agree. Sometimes I’m not sure I care though. I don’t always want to be feeling something, I don’t always want to thinking, I don’t always want to care. Sometimes, I wish I didn’t care and that I could just walk away and live in a small house in the country. By myself. I’m not even sure where this impulse comes from. Maybe the need to get away from it all. Have life be less emotional, less tied up, less baggage. Because really, how can you continue to have those issues if no one’s around?