tues, 06/01/04 - 7:25pm
Published January 6th, 2004 in wafblog v1.0started work experience again yesterday. which was really good. i think mainly cos i need to get out of the house, and i’m learning lots of new things, it’s been really great.
altho i’ve been feeling pretty down lately. mike and i kinda got in a fight, and i’m not sure how or why. altho i think a lot of it has been building up, and i’ve known, but there’s a lot of things that are hard to say simply because you know you can’t say them, cos they seem unfair or inconsiderate. i guess it doesn’t help that i’m completely drained, and i just want to sit in a corner and hide from the world. i’ve only really just started to notice how much my past has affected me. it’s like, everything from the past one and a half years has been building up, and i’ve been bottling it or something. but now, it’s like, the dam broke and it’s flowing out of control. which is kinda scary, cos i need to really think about what i’m doing before i do something that i regret. whereas if i just do what i feel, then i’ll do something stupid, and i was never really that sort. but now i am. and i’m finding that i’m now not the sort to keep trying to make things better, i just give up, like there’s no hope. that’s rather worrying. cos i mean, yeah i was always pessimistic, but not THAT pessimistic. it reminds me a lot of the beginning of last year, when i was really depressed and gave a lot of attitude. but this time i feel more flat. i’m hoping i snap out of it soon.
other than that, i’ve kinda got a mental list of what to do with my holidays besides work experience. i borrowed text book and notes off brendon to study 3603, and want to do that. i need to publish this blog/site, but first i need to find somewhere to host it. and then stuck into designing and coding it. i also have this urge to go to the library, borrow some books. i want to track down victor kelleher’s trilogy (parkland, earthsong, firedancer) and maybe purchase them. altho that’s expensive. i need to continue driving lessons and try and get my P’s as soon as possible. and then there’s all the people i need to meet up with. it’s going to be very busy, but fun too i hope.
anyways, i should go. song of the week: Deep Purple - “Hallelujah”. also, many thanks to su, i now have a name for my blog when i get it published.. “i should’ve known better”. possibly the greatest motto of my life.
Hallelujah
I am a preacher with a message for my people
Over the world, scratching on the ground
Looking for the peace that nobody has found
I am a spokesman for a better way of living
Love is the word and it can be heard
If you are young the message can be sung
Let me hear you sing, Hallelujah
Oh tell it to the man who’s power is the sermon on the wall
Tell it to the man who says you can misjudge them all
Tell it ’till it can be heard above the wailing of the crowd
Tell it on the field of war and hope you’ll soon be justified
There is a better way of life and it’s not so hard to find
If you live and let the people in your world speak its mind
I am the pupil who sells his life for freedom
All over the world and it can be heard
If you are young the message can be sung
Hallelujah
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